* Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.
* Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
* Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
* Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
* Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
* Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven...
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...
He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start
searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in
it right in front of
Einstein...........
Einstein's counting......97,98,99.....100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in
front........
Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out to see how he proves
that he is not
Newton..........
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m
squared.....
That makes me Newton per meter squared......
since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal,
I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT !!!!!!!!"
