Showing posts with label Needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Needs. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Husband Store ...

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the
Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE HUSBAND STORE. WATCH YOUR STEP AS YOU EXIT THE BUILDING, AND HAVE A NICE DAY!

What Women Want In a Man

ORIGINAL LIST (AGE 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thougthful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover


REVISED LIST (AGE 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, hold chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week


REVISED LIST (AGE 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends


REVISED LIST (AGE 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends


REVISED LIST (AGE 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend


REVISED LIST (AGE 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Superb Facts

You love someone,You marry someone else !The one you marrybecomes your spouse !And the one you lovedbecomes .
the password of your email id !!

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There's only one perfect childin the world and every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wifein the world and every neighbor has it.

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Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

This is amazing, he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007.

What a legacy to leave behind…

In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "Guide to a Better Life" for his wife and children to follow.


Personality:

1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment

3. Don't over do; keep your limits

4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip

6. Dream more while you are awake

7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present

11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you

12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

13. Smile and laugh more

14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


Community:

15. Call your family often

16. Each day give something good to others

17. Forgive everyone for everything

18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

19. Try to make at least three people smile each day

20. What other people think of you is none of your business

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.


Life:

22. Do the right things

23. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

24. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

25. The best is yet to come

26. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

27. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it